If this Father’s Day you could give good news for to your father/son who is gone, what would you say?
Father, the first good news I have to give you is that the project I did with the girls; Let’s Talk About Grieving? It is working! It has been an important source of inspiration, thinking and comfort for many people. I have learned and grown a lot with it and this 3rd father’s day without you, I feel stronger and with a sense of gratitude that is stronger than sadness. Of course the feeling of emptiness is huge, I miss you so much here. The nostalgia I feel for you is the size of my love, huge. The other good news is that this year we honor you as a father and grandfather. Yes, your long-awaited grand-daughter was born! Lorraine. She’s beautiful and, as promised by André, she will cheer for Sao Paulo soccer team. I am her godmother and I am completely in love with her. I will tell her all your stories and, of course, Grandpa Sergio will be in her heart forever. Happy Father’s Day, my hero. I love you so much.
Amanda, Sergio’s daughter
Daddy, “little mustache” -that’s how I called him- you often told me that I had no idea how much it hurts to miss someone. Your passing has shown me this pain. Even in death you still had so much to teach me. And your absence became my daily “life training”, feeling, suffering and turning grief into struggle. When a loss happens with someone irreplaceable, the world stops for a while. And it’s hard to find good news in this period. When you passed away, I was sure I would spend every Father’s Day crying and sad. But life had a small-great plan for my sadness. And the sunshine of my life was born the night before my first Father’s Day without you. The granddaughter you wanted to know, Marina. My niece will be my good news for Father’s Day as long as I live. And I thank life for giving us such a loving and sweet girl when we needed the most. The good news I can give to those who don’t have a father on this that date is that the pain one day, becomes longing, just like you told me it would happen, Dad.
Lara, Helio’s daughter
Hi Dad! After nearly five months that you’re gone I came here to bring you good news. I bet you must have been quite concerned about having to go away and leaving his family as it was: me, 6 months pregnant, my husband unemployed, my mother who depended on you, helpless, and my brother; away from my family. I want to tell you that this little baby has been the biggest incentive for me and everyone here to be positive and keep the faith that everything would be better. And so we carried on to the day he came to this big world, super healthy, and a big baby and almost bald. Today, with two months he is the happiest and the most smiling baby I’ve ever seen! You would love to hear the giggles … It’s the best sound in the world! His son in law is working and we remembered you a lot when he received the proposal; to always value and to position himself as the good professional he is. Mom; you know, is struggling! Besides taking care of all of us she is working in the kitchen without me for our company and for others as well. Finally my brother. He has learned a lot from all that happened to you I’m sure. And he’s crazy to see his nephew. Once he is on vacation he will get here.
Look father, on this first Father’s Day without you here you can rest easy because your grandson will meet you and know all your adventures. We will tell them with a lot of love and I’m sure he’ll be very proud of you all as we have always been. God bless you wherever you are, be well and many kisses.
Juliana, Ciro’s daughter
Hi, Dad. Wow! For me, who spoke every day with you, it will not be easy to break the news of these almost 2 years and 7 months in a few lines, but I’ll try … let’s get started, 3 grandchildren are amazing! 3 different personalities: Felipe chatty, intelligent and huge, he misses you. Vitor, more a relaxed guy, just like Ricardo … so cute! And Lucas increasingly smart, funny and beautiful (of course I would say that, right? After all, he took after me ahahaha). The proof is that he has started to wear glasses, father, can you believe it? When he was about to be 3 years old !!! But it’s great, you would love his glasses! Speaking of glasses, I could operate myopia! My almost 10 degrees no longer exist! (I know this surgery was always you and mom’s will, from when I was little, so you can be happy now because it worked !!!).
Stelinha – as you always called your granddaughter – was not born yet, father, but who knows, right ?! if it was for me, I would get pregnant again, but Gui wants to wait a little longer. Mom is crazy to be a grandmother. She’s fine, she is a warrior too, keeps running your projects as she can, we try to make her have her own new projects and dreams … Ah! This one you would never guess! In the World Cup here in Brazil, we lost for Germany in the semi-finals but you know the score? 7 to 1 !!!! The biggest joke !!!! Nobody believed it! It was horrible. But I bet you, on the third goal, would have hugged Gui and started cheering for Germans in order not to miss the party, right ?! ahahahah (and when I laugh like this, I remember your laugh, I don’t get to hear more … miss you so much! endless longing …).
Remember I asked you at the hospital if you thought this whole thing about photography would work? You said, “enough daughter” Well … I’m trying, ok ?! I love photography and now I understand you so much … I see your passion for your work and how you fought and believed it, often by yourself… and I admire you even more. Thanks, Dad, for having accepted and respected my new choice with so much love and kindness, and for giving me so many tips in the last months we spent together.
I hope to make you proud! I love you too !!!
Leticia, daughter of Laércio
Ze Carlos was a righteous person, severe posture, traditional beliefs and actions; sometimes original. To say that my father was a complex person would be an understatement. As a result of his complexity, he married a strong woman, very independent and 100% irreverent. Controversial, right? But according to the popular saying “opposites attract.” And like love, meetings and timing cannot be explained somehow, together, they had their history of over 45 years with a very important legacy, 3 wonderful daughters.
We are three women, each with her own personality and complexity. In common, however (and by virtue of a modern world and more female), in order to challenge all the traditions, conventions and beliefs that my father built in his 75 years. We were a hard work! Today, as I remember him, I think of the poem that Vinicius de Moraes wrote when he knew about his father’s death: “You were poor. Begging for our love in silence. “
My father expressed his love through concerns. One of them particularly common in our adult life, the desire to see his daughters married. He wanted us to get married. He believes that marriage was a natural evolution of the role of women in society, but also having children, building a family etc …. But as I said, we were hard work. We questioned all his traditional expectations, just because we wanted and we could.
But life plays trick on us, and at the same time I was with my dad throughout his last months of life, I was beggining another love story, with the other man in my life. One that challenged my own conventions and traditions. And even before any official date, my father sensed that this new story would be long and permanent.
In January 2015, my father said goodbye. In August of the same year, I got engaged. In April 2016, I got married.
My marriage was a great celebration of the traditional beliefs, conventions and love definitions. Silent and strong love; conventional and irreverent love; Love opposite and equal; Love of those present and distant.
I have no doubt that if he could be present, my father would be discrete but happy, in a slight bad mood, contradictorily complaining and praising everything. Anyway, celebrating love, his way.
And in addition to this good news, I’m sure he would be very pleased to know that we are well, together, healthy, and daily building our stories.
Happy Father’s Day, Ze Carlos!
Mafê, Ze Carlos’ daughter
From the several lessons you left me, the most important was that I should not give up anything, for fear, or for lack of courage. You told me this so many times that I never gave up anything. When I thought to give up, you came before my eyes disapproving and quickly I put my pieces together. I never give up. I’m not a coward.
When you passed, all that changed. There was no power that would make me go on, it could be a book, a song, and an explanation of a complicated idea. I thought at first it was because of the grieving process itself, which leaves us so lost and tired. Some time later, however, I realized that it was not it. I was afraid.
Facing my new life, a life that your hugs, the smell of your beard and your voice were no longer part of, was very hard. I couldn’t even think about how it would be to achieve something that you never thought I could or wanted. Not sharing with you a new victory or another failure would be unfair, and, as I also learned from you, betraying a friend or a principle is unthinkable. It was then that I realized that every time I gave up, I would fail to follow his legacy. It was a double betrayal that made me unworthy of the father I had and who, for 32 years, insisted that I had to be brave and honest, and I do not want to lose this anymore.
So father, the good news I want to give you is that, although for a long time I have not been the daughter that you brought up and nourished with words and gestures, nowadays I am here, just the way you left me. I mean, not exactly: I am a little better. Now I can play three or four songs on the guitar (despite the difficult guitar chords). I’ve read half a dozen novels (even those I do not want to read). I no longer keep my sorrows (although, from time to time, I let some bad feelings accumulate “in my stomach”).I try to follow other paths (even when I do not get the maps right).
You did not see anything, but if it all happened, it’s because you’ve always been with me and not let me forget that I must never give up.
Thank you for never giving up.
Camile, Paul’s daughter.
My dear daughter Caroline Calixto dos Santos!
I want you to know that living without you is not easy, it is a constant challenge, but you are love, and you just left good things, a great love! I pray constantly to Jesus to transfrom my heart and ease the pain, giving space for the memories and joys experienced with you. In this Father’s Day, the second without you, I miss you so much, but I want you to know that the pain gradually is giving space to nostalgia and memories of unforgettable moments that we have lived! On this day, I want to thank you for giving me the grace to be a father and having lived this love, which now becomes eternal in my heart! It is only longing now, but I know you will be close to me on this day, as it has been constantly !
Francisco, Carol’s Father